I'm Bored!

Bathos/ Bloody/ Blue-penciled Orgasm OAP/ Obligations R Extremely Dull

I have no idea what I'm saying. Obviously. But boy, I'm so bored, I'd looked through the dictionary to make out words for B and O.

I'm trying hard not to procrastinate. But it's not quite working. Obviously. What would someone do to distract themselves from procrastination in order to go back doing what they're suppose to do?
1. Run amok
2. Run amok with someone's PS2
3. Indulge in Fredo's good-for-every-PMS chocolate
4. Play solo ping-pong
5. Swing head like a shampoo girl for a shampoo ad
6. Swing head like it's got lice
7. Bite toe-nails
8. Disinfect mouth after biting toe-nails
9. Read Dr. Liew's latest post
10. Dunk head into a washbasin.

All the more reasons to love my imperfect self! It's dull to be flawless.

(after five minutes...)
OMG, I'm so freaking bored. Someone call me. SMS. Whatever. *blub* *blub* *blub* (sinks further into BoredoMud)

Back Then...

(ahem) ... when I had more brain cells, I could remember friends, acquaintances, family's birthdays, mobile numbers; gestures, intonations and accents to make silly yet fun imitations.
Now, my brains have an embarrassing tendency to forget days of the week; months of the year; and what I ate for dinner last night. [On good days, I can remember names.]

... when I was younger, I could scream my lungs healthy; sing till the cock crow-ed; talk till the cows came home.
Now, I have to knock off before 12AM so my stress-level metre stays just below 'Flustered' point. If you see a balloon head impounding to burst in countdown 3-2-1; it's a clear signal to get-your-ass-out-of-my-sight!

... I had a sense of humour. I knew how to have fun. I could make vultures laugh; hyenas go up into hysterics; magpies cackle.
Now, I've substituted it with Insanity Idiocy.

I haven't had a gut-busting, stomach-wretching, jaw-breaking, tear-flooding, breath-taking, earth-shattering laugh since ... since ... I forget. (- -)*
(I had a great time with the People-Who-Wants-Me-Dead yesterday at good ol' McD's. Thanks guys. *Sniff*)

... I blasted my headphones to Linkin Park, Aerosmith, The Cranberries, Japanese punk junks.
Now, I tune into 105.7FM, drive like a old lady in a bra too tight; glasses beyond focus and a flatulence that's ready to blow (Garrr, I sink ships with me gassy).

... when I was (actually) thinner, I could fit into my sexy, slinky, saucy bell bottoms.
Now, I've realised --- what the hell was I even thinking? Who wears bell bottoms anyway???